Don’t Be One Less Slice of Pizza: Speak Up as a Leader

September 3, 2020

The Blowhard Boss (You Know the One)

Most of us have worked for-or at least heard horror stories about-that blowhard boss who just loves to hear themself talk. Their droning words and impractical ideas fill the room, drowning out the contributions of the team. What they see as “rallying the troops” typically results in eye rolls and an increase in Happy Hour gripe fests. Team members lose the will to share ideas and become mired in the status quo. Gross.

The Overcorrection: When Leaders Go Too Quiet

I’ve worked with many leaders who seem to have built their entire leadership philosophy around not being that boss. They view management as a dirty word and go to great lengths to just be supportive. They defer to the team whenever possible and rarely offer a strong opinion of their own. And look, their heart is in the right place. Research (and my professional experience) strongly support creating an empowering environment for employees. Skilled employees given the authority and tools to solve problems create stronger teams and happier customers. But when this approach is taken to the extreme-as a knee-jerk reaction to “not being the boss everyone hates”-instead of a deliberate intent to lead well, problems arise.

Please don’t build your leadership style solely around what not to do.

The Silent Leader Also Has Consequences

It’s easy to list the problems attributed to the blowhard boss. But overly silent leaders create issues too. Here are just a few unintended side effects:

Not publicly acknowledging a job well done → “Why bother?” attitude
Staying silent about unethical behavior → Mistrust and fear
Avoiding conversations about low performance → Complacency and resentment
Not sharing what matters to you → Atmosphere of secrecy
Ambiguous direction → Competing pet projects
Not talking about the future → Lack of vision and belief in your leadership

Simply put:
Being a blowhard leads to resentment.
Being too passive leads to confusion, stress, and mistrust.

The False Choice: Shut Up or Take Over

It seems like working for an overbearing leader has created a false dichotomy:

“Leaders are terrible! Let the team lead! Who needs a leader anyway?”

But if bad leaders can do so much damage, then clearly leaders matter. Let me put it this way: You know that person who gets invited to all your parties but doesn’t really contribute anything? They don’t crack jokes. They don’t have new things to discuss. They don’t really laugh. They show up, they observe, they eat-and they leave. In my household, we refer to that person as:

One Less Slice of Pizza
The only thing they contributed was less pizza to go around.

Now contrast that with your friend who’s a little rambunctious-slaps backs, plays pranks, maybe spills a drink or two. They’re annoying. But their party fouls? They make the night memorable.

Don’t Be a Party Foul. But Please Don’t Be One Less Slice of Pizza.

I’m not suggesting you bluster and buffoon your way around the office.

I am pleading with you not to disappear in an effort to avoid taking up space.

Your team needs you.
And if they don’t-why does your role exist? Like it or not, once you’re in a formal leadership role, your words carry weight. Even if you strive to be unassuming and unintimidating (which is admirable), the bigger your title, the more people look to you and depend on you.

A Team Still Needs a Leader

There’s a time and place to be quiet and defer to the team’s expertise. In fact, that’s what leaders should be striving toward. But don’t automatically start there out of fear of being “too command and control.” A team is defined as a group of people coming together toward a common goal. They have shared purpose. Shared objectives. A shared definition of success. If you’re lucky enough to inherit a team that’s already crushing it-awesome!
But you have two options:

Coast and wait for your boss to realize your role is no longer needed.
Lead-get out there, talk to your customers, and shape what’s next.

A leader’s job is to look beyond the day-to-day and set direction toward a successful future.

That Means Having-and Sharing-Your Opinions

You define what is possible. What good looks like. You create the environment and the team to get there. Do you know what that requires?

Having an opinion and sharing it.
Frequently. In multiple ways.

What Teams Want From Their Leaders

Based on my experience, here’s what team members want from their senior leaders:

An inspiring direction and vision for what is possible
A clear definition of success
Insights into the broader landscape, both inside and outside the organization
Someone with clout who has their back
Someone willing to hold people accountable-for the good of the team
A mentor who’s “seen it before”
Someone who listens to their ideas and helps make them happen
An advocate with other teams and leaders

The list can go on. Different people need different things. But all of these require speaking up.

Ready to Find Your Voice? Start Here.

You don’t need to become a motivational speaker. You just need to be thoughtful and consistent. Here are a few ways to get started:

1. Reflect, Listen, and Respond

Lean on your natural ability to listen.
Then pair it with good questions.
And offer your reflections. Demonstrate that you heard what was said-and share how it may or may not inform your thinking.

2. Get Clear on What You Think

For any scenario facing your team, take a few minutes to answer the following questions. Keep it simple. Keep it specific. Keep it honest.

Where are we going? Why?
Why does this matter to the organization?
Why is this important to me?
What am I excited about?
What am I worried about?
What are my expectations?
What questions do I have?
How do I think the team can help the most?

3. Share What You’ve Learned-Out Loud

Once you’ve clarified your thinking, tell your team. You can do this:

During your regular meetings
In a special session
In a casual email

Whatever works for your context. But do it. As the great Billy Joel reminds us:

“It’s not automatically a certain guarantee.
To insure yourself, you’ve got to provide communication constantly…
Tell her about it.”

You’ve Got This.

Leadership is full of gray areas.
You won’t get it right every time. But your silence isn’t serving anyone-not even you.

Find your voice.
Use your voice.
And please-don’t be One Less Slice of Pizza.

Posted in Setting Direction